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Published: Jul 5th, 2020 11:00 pmBy Dr.Manisha Agarwal

If a list is made of people who are successful, the probability is that these persons have a characteristic of influencing others easily. This whole approach leads them to achieve success at a much faster pace, be it social or professional network.

Art of influencing is their capability. Let us explore what is this all about? When the person whom we want to influence is in the logical mode it is usually not possible to influence. When you try to convince somebody with the logical mindset, he/she will give you counter logic, one after another to contest your point.

The logical plane will not allow the other person to believe anything which is either in his favour or influencer’s favour. So, to convince somebody a shift of his mind from logical mode to receptive mode is required. To bring somebody to receptive mode influencer needs to develop a relationship with emotional connect.

Everyone is born with some psychological needs. Desire to be loved, receive appreciation, care, receive, attention and get respect, by the people around them.

We always do a lot of small acts that fulfil the desires in some way or another. The small act of caring, loving, respect creates an emotional bridge with another person. This emotional bridge helps you to bring a person to receptive mode.

Always follow your Heart, But don't forget to take your brain with you.

After understanding this aspect at a knowledge level, doing things for the sake of influencing like caring, loving, giving attention to bridge the gap of emotional connectivity will most likely not work. 

Doing for the sake of doing and coming naturally from the heart is what every person understands. Caring, loving, respecting in terms of doing will be incomplete and ‘acting’. Acting doesn't have that energy to bring the desired results. The first condition for emotional connect is to have the feelings naturally coming from an influencer.

This emotional bridge is not easily built for all people and that is why only a few family members are influenced and many are out of this influence circle. To enhance the influence circle of people, ‘acting’ won't work. People understand this ‘acting’ instantly and instinctively and chances are high not to succeed in the art of influencing.

An influencer can change this by accepting the person in the same way he or she is. The irony is usually acceptance is only for few people because of influencer’s own nature, what can be called as “people like people like them”. Behaviour, thinking patterns, habits match to an influencer is in his/her favourite list and for the rest criticisms, fault finding and negativity is left out.

Now the higher the level of acceptance, the more influencer will be able to accept people the way they are. To increase the level of acceptance he needs to find that lot of things are already accepted by him in some way or the other be it the nature of fire or ice, acceptance is there, no resistance is there. Talking about things, things don’t create logic in an influencer.

In animal world also elephant never complains why it differs from rabbit or lion.

In fact, nature also has not made any two things similar. No two leaves of a tree are similar. In fact, each stone is different from the other, there are no two exact same stones in nature. Everyone understands their properties and accept them as they are.

Again, when it comes to human beings, we need to understand that every human being comes with a microchip, having an inborn nature from birth. 

Some are introvert some are extrovert; some are too emotional; some are logical. It is usually not easy to change the complete basic nature of a person. Every one comes with the level of understanding in this world and progresses with his understanding at its own pace. The person will respond and behave in the same manner as per his understanding and he expects that he/she should be accepted the way he/she is. If an influencer can understand this aspect of human personality, then he will be able to build an emotional connect. Whether a person’s nature matches to somebody or like somebody is not the concern but to accept and understand the person as the person is more important.

Art of influencing starts from here, now if the person is accepted with his/her current level of understanding and his behaviour then influencer can build a connect; now feelings for that person will flow naturally from the influencer. Acceptance itself brings a lot of change in influencer’s perspective and love, care, attention and respect will naturally flow from the influencer and which are psychological needs of that person. No artificial or sarcastic acts will be posed by the influencer and that person will also understand the instincts of an influencer. Now the person will slowly shift from the logical mode to emotional mode. He /she will develop an understanding of what influencer is saying and here an influencer gets an opportunity to improve the person’s understanding and personality. This can be applied in social, personal and professional relationships.

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